The image shows a woman relaxing on a white couch, using a laptop on her lap. She is smiling and appears to be enjoying what she is doing online, possibly browsing or working. She is wearing a bright pink long-sleeve shirt and dark jeans, creating a casual and comfortable vibe. On a small table beside her, there is a plate of cookies and a white coffee mug, adding to the cozy, relaxed atmosphere. The background is minimalist and neutral, focusing attention on the woman and her activity. The image conveys a sense of leisure or work-from-home comfort, with a pleasant, laid-back mood.

Your Advocate and Teacher: The Fertility Nurse

Fertility Professionals| Fertility Coaching

July 30, 2024•4 min read

Tell me, and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn

Benjamin Franklin

Humans are naturally curious creatures. We need to be In The Know, and we definitely want you to Spill The Tea! And where does one usually go to for information? “The Information Superhighway” — the Internet. It used to be that one had to go to the library or pull out a few books from the encyclopedia set to find more information, but now, it is a few taps away on your smartphone. Humans want to connect with other humans who are similar or have the same experiences. And while the Internet has made the world a smaller place, it does not replace human-to-human interaction.

The image is a meme featuring two characters from the *Toy Story* movie: Woody and Buzz Lightyear. Woody, on the left, looks worried and anxious, while Buzz, on the right, appears to be confidently gesturing, as if he's making an important statement. The text above and below the characters reads: "I GOOGLED YOUR SYMPTOMS YOU HAVE 1 WEEK TO LIVE." The meme humorously exaggerates a common experience where people search their symptoms online and often find alarming or exaggerated results. It plays off the idea that self-diagnosing through online searches can lead to unnecessary panic. The expressions of Woody and Buzz perfectly capture this dynamic, with Woody's concerned face and Buzz's exaggerated confidence.

When someone gets a referral or is told to see a reproductive endocrinologist (REI) or fertility specialist, the first instinct is to do as much research as possible or, for some, ignore the situation. But does anyone know where Dr. Google got their medical degree? I always tell my clients: “Do not fall down the Google Rabbit Hole!” Is there information there? Sure, yes. But you will also just get more anxious about the process. Learning is good; understanding is better. Fertility nurses get professional training in the reproductive process and are your go-to source for any questions — no matter how silly you think the question may be. Repeat after me: There is no such thing as a dumb question. Your fertility nurse is your confidant.

This image is a popular meme featuring Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka from the 1971 movie *Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory*. Willy Wonka is resting his head on his hand with a sarcastic and knowing smile, giving off a patronizing or skeptical vibe. The text at the top reads, "PLEASE, TELL ME MORE," and the text at the bottom continues, "ABOUT YOUR TREATMENT AND DIAGNOSTIC PLAN FROM DR. GOOGLE." The meme humorously comments on the phenomenon of people self-diagnosing via internet searches, often referred to as "Dr. Google." It mocks the tendency for individuals to feel confident in medical conclusions based on online research, which can lead to inaccurate or exaggerated concerns. The sarcastic expression of Willy Wonka perfectly matches the tone of skepticism in the text.

I had a patient who put herself on a strict diet. Don’t get me wrong — a healthy diet is crucial when planning for conception. But some will follow any infertility diet that is on the internet to increase their chances. She was so stressed about eating the right things for her IVF cycle and for the transfer. The doctor told her to eat a donut. Guess what? She got pregnant with that transfer. That doesn’t mean it was the donut. The point is: Not everything you see on the internet is correct or even correct for you.

Every body and everybody are different. While fertility treatments do have standards, there is always a personalized treatment plan for you. Just because one person in the group did this or that does not mean that you will need to do the same or it could be not related to your diagnosis. I have spoken to numerous patients who ask for specific treatment plans, medications or alternatives because it is a buzzword or new method that they have heard about.

Advocacy is so important. I encourage all patients to be their own advocate and to ask questions. It is important that one understands how their body works and how it affects the fertility process. Knowledge is power! Asking questions is a way to engage in your fertility treatment with your provider and nurse. In my decade-plus career as a fertility nurse, I have been asked such questions as, Why didn’t I get to use this process? Or, should we try something that I just heard about? This is nothing new to fertility nurses; it happens everyday. Once it is explained WHY you have a specific treatment, it will bring your relationship with your nurse closer and level up your trust.

Social media groups can be a connection to others who understand and know how you feel, but they are not personalized enough to guide you through this process.

Once you realize that 1-in-6 couples will experience some sort of infertility problems, you realize that so many people around you are going through the same thing. But the caveat is that reproductive health is not spoken about, so you don’t know. Social media and the internet provide the anonymity that people desire when talking about infertility. As with all social media, however, nothing is as it seems in real life (or IRL as they say). The rainbows and ponies that some people project is not always what it is made out to be.

The image shows a character from the movie *The Big Lebowski*, played by Jeff Bridges, in his role as "The Dude." He is holding a glass of what appears to be a White Russian (his signature drink in the movie) and looking perplexed or confused, with a raised eyebrow and a slightly puzzled expression. The scene has a laid-back and casual vibe, with The Dude dressed in a loose, comfortable robe and T-shirt, reflecting his relaxed and carefree personality. The background features some bottles and other household items, adding to the sense that this is a moment of reflection or reaction in a casual setting. The image is often used in meme culture to express confusion or disbelief in a humorous way.

The unproven tactics are probably the biggest concerns and draw the biggest eye rolls from fertility nurses. Once someone knows how desperate you are to have a baby, there will be talk of what to do or what to take or how to do something to help you conceive. Pineapple core was one of the biggies. Eating pineapple core, which is the most bitter part of the fruit, will help you have a baby! That’s how pineapples have become a symbol of infertility. Eat McDonald’s fries after transfer to help the embryo implant. Uh-huh …

There are so many more that our cognitive brain will laugh at as superstitions, but our emotional brain will continue to say, What if?

Your fertility nurse or consultant is there for you. As I overheard in my fertility nursing training, “Nobody wants you pregnant more than me.” That is the truth.

We are your guides, your connection and your cheerleader.

Ann Marie Luft has been a Fertility Nurse for more than 10 years, with experience in every aspect of the field. Learn more about how she can help guide you through your reproductive journey.

Ann Marie Lufts

Ann Marie has been a Reproductive Endincrinology and Infertility Nurse for over a decade. She understands the challenges of going through the IVF process, and provides emotional and educational support. She helps them address issues and decisions ahead of time, so the IVF journey goes more smoothly.

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